I’m a professor who is almost forty years old. But I have a daughter who is a teenager. Though she goes to a Christian school where students are not allowed to embrace an “LGBT identity,” it’s important to think about how you—a parent of teens—should counsel your teenager on how to love their friends who may identify as LGBT. After all, given the culture we live in, they must be prepared to engage with all types of people from all walks of life. Whether at a public school or in a workplace, we must equip teenagers to love their LGBT-identifying friends without sacrificing the truth.

Here are seven things I would counsel my teenager with if I asked how teenagers should love their friends who identify as LGBT.

Your friend is made in God’s image. It does not matter how your friend identifies; you are called to be kind and respectful of their personhood. Kindness and respect do not mean agreement. It means you understand that your friend is a unique creation of God, and as a human being, they desire the same things you want: Love, respect, kindness, and dignity.

Your friend is a sinner like you. There’s a temptation to treat certain sins we do not struggle with as unique or elevate them beyond what they deserve. Here’s the truth: Gay people are people. People who identify as LGBT do not deserve a special type of category owed to them in their sin that we would not extend to someone else. A sinner is a sinner is a sinner. They are a sinner like you. They may not see how they identify as a sin, but you should still not treat your friend’s sin as less or more in need of God.

Know your Bible. If you are going to speak when spoken to about what your views on sexuality and gender are, you need to be able to navigate the Bible. You need to understand God’s plan for sexuality that begins in Genesis: God makes humanity in His image  God makes man and woman in his image  God makes man and woman for one another in marriage. That’s the blueprint for sexuality. Everywhere the Bible mentions homosexuality, it mentions it negatively against the backdrop of that creational reality established in Genesis (Genesis 19:1-38; Leviticus 18:22, 20:13; Romans 1:25-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; 1 Timothy 1:9-10 and Jude 6-7).

Understand your Bible.

Okay, so you know what Genesis 1-2 teach, and you can point to the verses that mention homosexuality. But if you were asked why the Bible views homosexuality as sinful, what would you say? Could you understand the logic and rationale for what is implicit in the Bible’s condemnation of LGBT identities?

Homosexuality represents a rejection of God’s design for creation order. When God makes us, he makes us with a design. That design determines how our bodies are to be used because our design has a purpose to it. Maleness and femaleness are embodied realities tied to the design of our nature as men and women but also our purpose as men and women, which is in marriage and family life. Homosexual acts represent a misuse of the body’s design and thus obstruct the design of the body’s purpose.

Be ready for rejection. The sad predicament of our culture is how awash it is in sexual confusion. Sexual anarchy is the air we breathe. This means some people have grown up in a culture where it would be conceivable not to know that LGBT identities are sinful or wrong. In some sectors of the country, homosexuality is no different than being left-handed. To speak out against LGBT identities means you are putting yourself on the wrong side of the culture. This is where everybody needs to grow a theological spine and be prepared for worldly rejection when—not if—it comes.

Be strategic and honest in your conversations. To be a Christian does not mean you have to tell your friends who identify as LGBT that they are sinners 24/7. That would get annoying, and they would not likely want to remain your friend. Value your friend for who your friend is and their unique personalities. At the same time, the human tendency is to be silent where we should speak or to speak too much where we could arguably need to be silent. Parents and teenagers alike need to think through this delicate balance.

Be discerning. A parent needs to help their child be discerning in their friendships. Is your teenager mature? Are they susceptible to being influenced by what certain crowds say? How easily do they conform? What type of independent streak do they have? Just because a teenager can be friends with someone who identifies as LGBT, it is not fair to send your children into the mission field if they are not adequately prepared.

Trust in God and God’s Word. Everything comes back down to God’s Word and the authority we understand it to have. This is ultimately a test of biblical authority. Has what God declared to be true, in fact good? This is where we must understand that God’s design is not arbitrary. It is for our good. We have to ask an important question: If God’s Word is true regarding creation, miracles, and resurrection, why wouldn’t it be true regarding God’s design for sexuality?